From Fearing Wrinkles to Embracing the Journey: How I Made Peace with Death and the Afterlife
"I'd rather kill myself than live to be old and wrinkly."
I remember thinking this as a senior in high school. It wasn't a joke; I truly believed that aging was a flaw. I preferred the idea of dying young and "beautiful" to what I saw as the shame of aging skin. This belief was a direct product of the American anti-aging movement, a culture that relentlessly tells us, "you are a loser if you get old and you are a loser if you die."
Reflecting on my journey since then, I'm struck by how profoundly my views on both death and the afterlife have transformed.
For most of my early life, my perspective was shaped by a culture that treats death as a taboo—a crime or a mistake to be ignored. It was only when I took an "Aging and Dying" track in my undergraduate studies that my outlook began to shift. I went in assuming I'd learn tricks to stay young, but I came out with a completely new understanding.
I learned how other cultures approach death not with fear and repression, but with celebration and ritual. I saw the contrast between the typical American process—where a body is quickly taken away to a morgue for embalming—and traditions where friends and family gather to say prayers, perform rituals, and even prepare the body for burial themselves.
This new knowledge led me to embrace a different philosophy, captured perfectly by a quote from the film Death Makes Life Possible: "Physical discomfort sucks but dying doesn't. Dying is what we do."
I began to see death not as a tragedy, but as a natural, beautiful transition. I now look at elderly people with curiosity and compassion, in awe of their longevity and life experiences. I've learned that aging and death are a celebration, and I will be honored to one day wear my own strength, wisdom, and beauty on my body.
Just as my views on death were shaped by my culture, my understanding of the afterlife was formed by Christianity. I was taught that after death, your soul goes to Heaven or Hell based on whether you were a "born-again Christian." This always caused a deep conflict within me. Why would someone from a different culture go to Hell? How could people communicate with spirits if all souls were locked away in one of two places?
It was through exploring other traditions that I found a perspective that resonated more deeply: reincarnation. The belief that our souls "get recycled," returning to the universe to learn and grow through multiple lives, becoming "better, deeper, and shinier" with each one.
Because this idea is so frowned upon in Christian teachings, I was initially closed off to it. But over time, through my own life experiences, I began to realize that my own beliefs aligned more with these ancient teachings than the ones I was raised with.
"Death is an ongoing process that makes life possible." If we did not die, the earth would become stagnant. Through the cycle of living and dying, we support evolution.
I'm no longer afraid of having an unfulfilled life more than I am of death itself. I know I am a soul on a journey—experiencing, making mistakes, and growing. I know that when death comes, my soul will return to the collective conscious. I am not afraid, because I know that when that time comes, it means I have achieved what I needed to in this life, and a new journey awaits.
References
Haber, C. (2004). Anti-aging medicine: The history: Life extension and history: The continual search for the fountain of youth. The Journals of Gerontology: Series A, 59(6), B515-B522.
Krigbaum, M. (Director). (2014). Death Makes Life Possible [Film].
